 |
| Making progress on the front! |
High school ended over twelve years ago but sometimes, I feel like I’m right back where I was, especially when someone criticizes something I’ve done, either behind my back or to my face. At various times of my life and at various stages, whether a missionary, stay-at-home mother or woman in leadership positions, I’ve heard my fair share of unkind words directed unmistakably at me.
 |
| Remember what the house looked like a few short months ago??? |
This week, I was the unintended recipient of an email where someone said I’d done a ho-hum job on a previous social event that ironically, I thought was quite enjoyable. I know I wasn’t intended to read what she’d wrote, but there it was, written for me and several others to see. I was mortified. My heart raced and I trembled with both anger and embarrassment. I am intimately aware of my own flaws and imperfections but I couldn’t help thinking how unfair it all was.
 |
| Covered in raspberries. |
My insecure self (who interestingly enough, feels the same way as she did way back in high school) constantly worries that people think her home is ho-hum. That she’s a ho-hum person for staying at home with small children rather than fighting her way through the workforce and squandering her talents on little children who couldn’t possibly appreciate them. That she’s a ho-hum mother for having dirty-faced, rowdy, screaming girls who are in a constant state of motion.
And then I thought:
I don’t do ho-hum.
 |
| The best way to enjoy ice cream: messily. |
Though I feel the same insecurities with a familiar sting I’ve known ever since I was a little child, I have been blessed to learn from them. It hasn’t made the anxiety go away, much as Paul was given a thorn of the flesh that he just couldn’t be rid of, but I believe the beautiful lesson has been learning how to react to my own weaknesses.
 |
| Reaching the height where my knees begin to shake while painting… |
Our home may underwhelm people at first but a ho-hum homeowner wouldn’t be facing their fears, gripping the top of a ladder while painting to renew the facade of the house. They wouldn’t tackle siding and making shutters and putting in new stairs and refinishing old floors and painting everything from living rooms to decks for hours on end. They wouldn’t lovingly put up crown molding or fix electrical or pluming issues that no one will appreciate or enjoy. They don’t get to know their house’s every quirk and oddity and come to love it because it’s unique. And they certainly wouldn’t do it at the cost of their own blood, sweat, tears and pocketbook.
 |
| Ironically, Claire DID break this egg. |
A ho-hum mother wouldn’t let her kids get dirty (that would mean an extra bath), she wouldn’t endure the ear-shattering screams of pure joy (that could mean a headache for her) or risk them getting sweaty or scratched or chewed up by bugs (that might mean using up all the bandages). She wouldn’t bother battling constantly against clutter and certainly wouldn’t budget or scrimp or save to make the underappreciated, often unnoticed role of stay-at-home mother happen. She’d avoid ice cream at all costs (too drippy), helping in the kitchen (they might cut themselves) and couch jumping (too much rowdy fun). The children wouldn’t be allowed to help with construction (they might hammer a finger), touch bugs (they’re gross), collect eggs (they might break them), help in the garden (they might step on plants), go in a canoe (they might fall out) or ride horses (they might fall off).
 |
| Hold on Kate! You might fall off! |
Ho-hum is a state of mind more than it is a statement about an activity, day or event. Unfortunately, some people think that grandiose, elaborate entertainment is the only worthwhile way to spend their time. While grand certainly is fun once in a while, more often than not, the small, unassuming moments are what matter most.
